apparently not everybody likes mambo | 2002-08-07 - 8:55 p.m.

I've been having a little trouble concentrandome on my trabajo, now that Pedro's working nights at Curly's Pie Hole again.

Lack of concentraci�n at work is nothing nuevo. I mean, who wants to pour their alma into waiting tables when there are even less consequential things to ocupar your atenci�n, like Se�or Bush's lectures on corporate ethics?

But now that Pedro's back in the cocina, my poderes of concentraci�n are at an all-time low. The pobre gente that have the mala fortuna to be sitting in my station have to repeat their orders tres veces, instead of the usual two. And pray that I'm not looking toward the kitchen while I'm pouring them a refill of the scalding black pigs' blood that passes for coffee here.

Last night was especialmente dif�cil. I nearly dropped an entire tray of clam strips into the lap of a young woman, all because my ojos were glued to the cocina, where Pedro, his brow furrowed in concentraci�n, was busily assembling a club sandwich.

"Idiota!" the customer snarled at me. "Why don't you look where you're going?"

Meeting her furious glare, I blushed in verg�enza. Everything about this lovely young woman bespoke precisi�n and atenci�n to detail. She was ten times better-dressed than me, in her ruffled white blusa and tight brown falda de cuero. Her hair and nails were as perfectly groomed as I had always imagined Laura Bush's to be, although this well-groomed young woman had m�s in common with J Lo than with Betty Crocker. Looking down at my own ragged nails and soiled clothing, I felt a surge of shame wash over me, like the cold, cloudy water of a dunking booth.

Then it occurred to me. I may not look like much tonight, I thought, but por lo menos, I am wearing my expensive new perfume. Ha! Take that, J Lo, and stick it in your ...

"�Qu� pasa aqu�? �Hay alg�n problema?"

I looked up to see Pedro hovering protectively nearby, right behind the young woman. Oh, sant�sima virgen, full of grace, I thought. Here comes Pedro to my rescue!

Then I saw Pedro's hand. It was cupped over the woman's hombro like a shoulder pad.

"J Lo" crossed her beautifully-manicured mano over her chest, like she was saying the pledge of allegiance, and absently fondled Pedro's fingers. Her eyes never left mine.

"No problem, Pedro," she smiled, her voice as buttery smooth as Parkay. "Just one of the waitresses here had a little ... accident, that's all."

If I had been soaking in shame before, I was now drowning in it. "I'll just go and clean up that mess over at table three," I mumbled, eyes on the alfombra, as I stumbled past the happy pair.

As I left, I could just hear J Lo's silky voice behind me break into a bell-like laugh. "Pedro," she giggled, "is that bug spray I'm smelling?"

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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