uh oh | 2003-01-22 - 4:15 p.m.


It was muy de ma�ana when the tel�fono started ringing. Al principio, my sleep-addled cerebro assumed we were en medio of a fire drill. Then it -- and I -- lentamente realized that neither mi domicilio nor place of work has a fire alarm. "Oh, mierda," I deduced after the third ring. "The tel�fono."

Blearily, I reached for the auricular, knocking over a half-empty vaso of Diet Coke in the process. The unnaturally loud siseo of the beverage as it ate through my mattress punctuated the silencio between rings.

"Hello," I grunted, half expecting it to be the policia, llamandome about my hermano's latest misadventure.

Con sorpresa m�a, the voice on the other end was one I'd never heard before, at least not in my waking vida. It was sleepy, scratchy, muffled, and dopey; algo like the voice of Tommy Chong calling from the bottom of a toilet, or -- m�s plausibly -- our president recuperando from the resultados of an all-night tequila binge.

"Uh, yeah," the voz began, then broke off. "Whoops. Wait a sec." The sound of bubbling agua came distintamente over the line, followed by an acute ataque of coughing.

Disgruntled, I prepared to colgar when the coughing abruptly stopped and the voice continued. "Wait, wait, don't hang up." Hack, hack. "Is this the casa of Castigada?"

De repente, I snapped to atenci�n. "Who the hell is this?" I demanded, trying my best to sound edgy and dangerous.

The man on the other end hesitated, as if trying to acordarse. "Who's this?" he repeated. "Who's this?"

"You heard me." This, in my best Concha voice.

There was a long silencio. "This is ... um, Roger."

My mind frantically spun through its skeletal rolodex of male acquaintances. Ralph ... Rodrigo ... Roger ... Roger ... oh mierda, Roger! The Chula Vista gamer who rescued me from the evil orcs in Ravenfart! How in demonios did he get my n�mero?

"How ... how in demonios did you get my number?" I spluttered.

"You're the only Castigada in the phonebook," he drawled, launching into another spectacular coughing fit.

anterior - siguiente

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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