giving up | 2002-09-10 - 7:03 p.m.


I've been hearing a lot of ch�chara lately about how Am�rica is better and stronger than ever post 9-11.

Well if that's true, why in demonios aren't people acting like it? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, the �nica cosa getting stronger around here is the smell from the dumpster behind mi apartmento. And better? Por favor. On an aesthetic nivel alone, most of us Americanos are displaying lapses in judgment grande enough for a Landrover to drive through. We're eating crap and listening to crap and wearing crap and -- if you share Todd Oldham's vomit-colored vision -- even adornando our dorm rooms with crap. To look at us, you might think we've given up.

You know things have gotten really bad when a venerable old fixture like Smokey Bear throws in the toalla on fighting forest fires. I mean, what's up with his nuevo motto "only you can prevent wildfires"? I know it must have been a particularmente grueling summer for him and his woodland compadres, but can't we be a bit more positive here about nuestra capacidad to prevent forest fires? Is "only you can prevent forest fires" realmente so strongly worded that we have to downgrade "forest fires" to "wildfires" to better serve the truth?

If you believe the Forest Service Employees for Environmental Ethics, it is, and we do. Seg�n this organizaci�n (which incidentally represents Forest Service workers like the ones who started the forest fires earlier this year), not even woodland creatures gifted with speech can prevent forest fires. Preventing forest fires is futile! It's potencialmente peligroso! And, encima de todo, it runs completamente contrario to the Presidente's environmentally sound forest-thinning plan.

To make a case for its peculiar brand of forest fire fatalism, Forest Service Employees for Environmental Ethics has introduced a rake-toting squirrel named Reddy, whose lema is, "No one can prevent forest fires. Be ready!" (Traducci�n: run like hell!) This new mascot hasn't yet appeared in any PSAs, but when he does, you can bet he'll give America algo to get fired up about. As the director of the group puts it, "(Smokey) served his purpose, but it's a new era."

An era of bigger, better and stronger fatalism! Or, if you prefer, good old-fashioned resignaci�n. Either way, la pr�xima vez you happen to see your favorite national forest starting to burn down, take a p�gina from Reddy Squirrel's pamplet, get in your Landrover, and drive away from the blaze. You are powerless to prevent the conflagration, so don't even attempt to put it out. You wouldn't want to be late for that sale at Target.

anterior - siguiente

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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