un encuentro with history | 2002-08-31 - 6:23 p.m.

My coraz�n was in my mouth. An actual politician, not more than 100 feet away from the carro! And not just any politician, but Bill Simon, the scandal-tainted Republican candidate for gobernador of California! For months I had been preguntandome if he would ever make an appearance in my beloved hometown during his stint on the gubernatorial campaign trail. Yet here he was, right here on V*ct*ry B**l*v*rd; on foot, and by the looks of it, about to enter a 7-11 store!

Slamming on the brake, I turned to Concha. "We have to go in there and see what he's up to. This could be our only encuentro with history."

Sr. Short-Sleeves groaned so hard he started coughing nuevamente. "Oh, puhlease," he said, once the coughing had subsided. "If that's Bill Simon, then I'm Harrison Ford. What makes you think Simon would have anything to do with the Valley? Voter turnout has got to be lower here than anywhere else in the state. We all know this is a hotbed of liberal Democrats."

"Shows you how much you know, est�pido," spat Concha. "With the S*n F*rn*nd* V*ll*y secession asunto on the ballot, Democrat voter turnout this Noviembre is going to be even higher than Winona Ryder on a shopping spree. Which spells bad news for Republicans like Simon."

"Unless Simon gets out here and courts the secessionistas," I added, unnecessarily.

We convinced Sr. Short Sleeves to let us turn into the 7-11 lot next to the dealership and aparcar, just so we could get a better ojeada at Simon.

We didn't have to wait long for our brush with fame. Just as we were pulling into a space, we saw Simon emerging from the tienda, a Slim Jim in one hand and a Big Gulp in the other.

Before I could ask Sr. Short Sleeves how to put the carro into park, Concha had bolted out of the back seat and run to the straitlaced politician's side.

"Hello," she said.

At first, Bill Simon looked aterrorizado, like he was going to bolt, but he inmediatamente recovered his composure when he saw the brand new car my amiga had just hopped out of. "Um," he said. "Um. Hola, votero. �C�mo es usted?"

"Huh?" asked Concha. "What did you say?"

Simon seemed surprised. "Your English is very good, se�orita," he said. "Have you been here in the United States long?"

Concha turned questioningly to me and Sr. Short Sleeves. I shrugged.

You know," Bill Simon continued, "I hope that if you are living here legally in the Estados Unidos, you will register to vote in this November's election." He put a paternal hand on Concha's shoulder. You see," he said, "from the very beginning, the Latino vote has been a huge priority for me. I have been working like a ... working very hard to earn the support of your people, focusing my campaign on the issues that Latinos are most concerned about -- education, the economy, and energy. What's more, I am a strong family man, and a firm believer in traditional values. I believe that is why no less than twenty-two of the Mexican American Political Association's 32 chapters just voted to endorse me for governor."

Concha nodded, removing Simon's paternal hand from her shoulder so gently that he didn't even notice. "Is that right?" she asked. "So if elected governor, you'll focus on issues that concern 'my people'?"

"That's right," beamed Bill Simon. "I'll be working for you."

"You'll be promoting economic growth?"

"Absolutely."

"And pushing for educational reforms?"

"Of course."

"And taking control of the energy situation?"

"You bet. I'll be everything you want in a governor. Can I count on your vote this November?"

Concha flashed a grand�simo shit-eating grin. "Claro que s�, Sr. Davis," she said, and got back into the car.

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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