the matter of Concha vs. Hollywood | 2002-07-15 - 8:54 p.m.


Concha's audici�n took place on the segundo piso of a diminutivo, shabby office building in Sh*rm*n **ks. The first floor was occupied by Planned Parenthood and some fly-by-night insurance broker. We had to pass by the Planned Parenthood consultorio to get to the stairwell, since the elevator was broken.

When we got to the second floor, we discovered a hallway lined with gente of every age, race, and sexual orientaci�n. It was like the DMV, minus the windows. Most of the people lined up against the walls were wearing this familiar expresi�n on their faces:

Concha y yo scowled at them and walked into a room marked "auditions."

On one side of the room, a seventy-year-old Asian man with an unfortunate facial tic was delivering his lines ("Order! Now rise!") while a long-haired white dude scribbled algo onto a notepad. Overhead, a faulty fluorescent light flickered on and off. The overpowering stench of mold emanated from a large wet patch in the carpet.

To our right, an ap�tica Goth was busy inspecting her cuticles, which were bleeding. Questionable grooming habits aside, she had the unmistakable confidence of una persona in a posici�n of authority; alguien who could decide whether to grant or deny a long-hoped-for audici�n. One look at her and we knew, without a doubt, that Concha's fate lay in her hands.

"Excuse me?" said Concha to Cuticle Goth, straining to produce an acceptably servile tone. "Ma'am? I'm here for an audition."

Cuticle Goth didn't bother to look up. "Sign in over there," she muttered, gesturing to a clipboard by the doorway.

Concha scowled at her. "Puta," she grumbled, lunging for the clipboard.

Just then, we heard a loud cracking sound, like alguien getting hit on the head with a fire extinguisher. This sound was immediately followed by screaming. An argument had broken out in the hallway, and was escalating into an altercation of Springer-like proporciones!

anterior - siguiente

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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