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the taco bell test | 2002-04-21 - 8:31 p.m. Inspired by riatsala's French Gothic Cathedral Test If I were a Taco Bell food product, I would be GORDITA You are a nutritionally deficient yet decadent-tasting product; the answer to America's self-destructive predilection for excessively rich and ultimately indigestible products. Your signature appeal is your cheesiness, your round-the-clock availability, and your ability to satisfy the craving for both a soft and a leathery taste experience simultaneously (a phenomenon referred to as a Dynamic Contrast by chefs and food experts). The shoe-like consistency of your flatbread exterior is the perfect foil for the crumbly, unstable texture of your alternately bland and zesty filling. In your heyday, you were known as The Revolutionary Taco�. In 1998 you took America by storm, outstripping the popularity of most other Taco Bell products in the space of three short months. At the acme of your popularity, the Taco Bell chihuahua led thousands of taco patriots on a march to the Capitol, convincing millions of Whopper� consumers to throw down their burgers and join the Gordita revolution. All across the nation, in every hamlet and village, the streets resounded with the rallying cry: �Viva Gordita! Today, the streets are empty; nary a Gordita wrapper remains. Oh, Gordita. You expanded your empire too quickly, you and your dogsbody chihuahua. You sought power at the cost of truth and justice, and it made you careless. You promised satisfaction; you imparted severe cramping and diarrhea. You pledged value; you left sticker shock. You even lied about your provenance. Turns out the only thing authentically Mexican about you was your unflattering name. Well, Gordita, guess what? The American people are on to you. That's right, you taco totalitarian, your reign of terror is over. You'd better run for the border. A new leader is in power now, one that will lead the American people on to their destiny of competitively-priced, rich-tasting food products. �Viva Chalupa! Long live Chalupa!
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pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
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Diary Rings |
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member of the scorpio diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland member of the snobs diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland we live sweat but dream light years | d*land wage slaves: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland member of the love-is-pain diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - I'll Dance on His Mutilated Corpse - Diaryland Living Abroad - the expat diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland |
