de colores | 2002-03-15 - 8:36 p.m.


You didn't think I'd be able to pasar en silencio Se�or Ridge's brand new color-coded alert system, did you? This is precisely the kind of small-potatoes, flimsy pi�ata news item I love to take a whack at. Not only do I get to take out mi frustraci�n with the present US government; not only do I reveal what a complete alb�ndiga the ridiculous Tom Ridge is; but I do so without completamente exposing to you my deplorable lack of knowledge regarding politics or world affairs. And what, hijos, could be m�s satisfactorio than that?

In case you have ninguna idea what I'm talking about, Herr Ridge and his volk just invented a nueva manera of alerting people to terrorist threats, because the old ways -- just telling todo el mundo to watch out for terrorists -- were "vague and confusing."

The new sistema is muy hi-tech. It features cinco categor�as of alert -- �cinco! -- of increasing magnitude. Because we-the-people apparently can't be relied on to percibir the subtle disparities between the various degrees of danger, each stage of alert has been assigned its very own color. There's green for no threat, white for a little bit of threat, yellow for considerable threat, orange for quite a lot of threat, and red for time to pack your bags and move to Ant�rctica.

Pues, �qu� opinan Uds? Tengo que confes�rselo, when I first heard about the nuevo sistema, I was delighted. What could be more useful in these tiempos peligrosos, I think, than un sistema for categorizing danger? If you can't beat 'em, categorize them! That's what I always say!

But now I come to pensar en ello, I am wondering. Is this lo mejor you can come up with, Se�or Ridge? Cinco meses at the helm of a brand-new, high profile agencia with an unlimited budget and the president's unconditional apoyo, and you're giving us red light, green light?

In defense of the president's men, it can't have been easy deciding which colores to use. Earlier this month, Ridge's deputy, a retired four-star Navy admiral and *Rhodes Scholar* went on record saying that one of the asuntos his team still had to "wrestle to the deck" was a final decision on the actual colors.

But when you see how completamente uncreative the team was, you wonder if those five months could have been better spent designing Homeland Security tee-shirts and coffee mugs. I mean, I guess I can see why Team Ridge decided al fin to go with meat and potatoes colores -- AMERICAN colores -- like red and green instead of overseas colores, como chartreuse o puce. But wouldn't you rather hear "scarlet alert" than "red alert?" I know I would.

anterior - siguiente

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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