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lady in waiting | 2002-01-27 - 12:20 a.m. You may be wondering if I lost my job at Curly's Pie Hole since all I talk about these days is television, el vicio de los desempleados. Hombre, que no! This week I worked the evening shift every night except Tuesday (Chair night!). The tips are at their most marginal in the evenings. Seems that marginality is my lot in life, at least until Mary Francis, that stuck-up guera bitch who works days, decides to get a real job so I can move into her slot. But seriously. Las tardes aren't all that bad, sabes? I pass most of my shift looking out the window at the liquor store on the other side of the street, making up porn star names for their customers. Lolly Liquorish, meet Blunt Hammer! If el jefe, the boss, is watching me, I wipe down the tables and cracked plastic menu covers with dingy ammonia-smelling washcloths. Otherwise, I make myself a coffee with un mogoll�n of creamer and sugar in it and pretend I'm at Starbucks going over floral arrangements with a wedding planner. Or I serve the drunks and locos at the counter, and pretend everything is normal there, too. Why, yes sir, *sure* you can have another pitcher of beer and side of bacon. Enjoy! De vez en cuando, la santissima virgen will send a gang of white kids from the other end of the Valley to come in and torment me. That ain't so much fun. They'll pile through the door, throw themselves into a booth, prop their topsiders up on the naugahide, snarl insults at the drunks, make fun of Eduardo the short order cook, order shitloads of our shitty food, and spill sugar all over the table. Then, quicker than you can say Chandra Levy, PUF! They'll vanish without paying. El grupo that comes in tonight looks pretty typical, with their studiously rumpled Gap clothing and $30 haircuts. "Hey, Hans," one of them says, poking his buddy in the ribs, "check it out -- it's Jennifer Lopez!" Hmmm? What's that? J-Lo?! Being the only woman in the place, I know they must be referring to me! I am ... well, I am secretly flattered. Forget all that bad press -- J-Lo is one hot lady in my book. But just when I am thinking that maybe I have been a little too quick to judge these boys, the other one tells his buddies, "Yeah, get a load of that fat ass! Ay, hoochiewahwah! Rico, suave!" Then they all start laughing. "AW haw haw haw haw haw HAW!" Me, I am playing it cool on the outside, but inside, I am molten lava. I am a semi-permanent hair coloring solution that has been left on the scalp too long. I am an angry red pimple, waiting to explode on them. GARRRRRRRR! Nevertheless. This is business, and I am getting paid to conduct it. I take their orders calmly and serenely. Hamburguesas, all around. Very good. With the bearing of a queen, I walk the orders over to la cocina, where Eduardo has been watching the whole scene from the other side of the heat lamps. "Eduardo," I tell him, handing him the orders, "Cuatro especiales, por favor." Eduardo takes el boleto solemnly. "Four specials coming right up," he says. Only I can see him winking. When the hamburgers finally come up, I have to wipe a little bit of Eduardo's loogie off of one of the plates so nobody suspects nothing.
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pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
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Diary Rings |
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member of the scorpio diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland member of the snobs diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland we live sweat but dream light years | d*land wage slaves: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland member of the love-is-pain diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - I'll Dance on His Mutilated Corpse - Diaryland Living Abroad - the expat diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland |
