removable feasts | 2002-01-21 - 1:08 p.m.

It ain't easy being a saint. You go through your life giving all your best shit away to charity; you testify about Christianity while everybody's throwing rocks at you; you get shot through with arrows or have your body parts cut off and fed to dogs; then centuries later, your fibula gets put on display in a glass case for everybody and their abuela to see. OK, maybe you've assured your place in heaven, but how does the Church, God's earthly representative, recognize your efforts?

If you're lucky, it canonizes you and sticks your name on the liturgical calendar. As I see it, this is roughly equivalent to putting your name on one of those "employee of the month" plaques in the kitchen at McDonald's.

You'd figure the very least the Church could do is leave your name there, right? I mean, nobody ever looks at the liturgical calendar, anyway. But no, not even your place on the calendar is guaranteed. I heard a radio program ayer about how the Catholic Church is in the practice of dropping saints from the Church calendar when it gets too "cluttered." The last time they did this in a big way was in 1969, when the Pope "pruned" the calendar "to ensure the more important saints were kept front and center in the church's liturgical life."

So who got "pruned?" None other than St. Christopher, patron saint of cruising around in automobiles. Never mind that automobiles didn't exist in St. Christopher's day -- people were enfadados when they heard the news. Pissed. I mean, think of all those St. Christopher medals on all those cars -- one day, you're driving along with the protection of a full, bona fide saint, the next day, poof, you've got the picture of some minor dude pinned to your dashboard. And all because the Church calendar got a little cluttered and the Pope decided it was time for some Spring cleaning. What's up with that?

St. Christopher was lucky -- at least the Church still recognizes he exists. Some other saints were taken off the calendar because "there wasn't sufficient historical evidence to indicate they ever existed." Since when does the Church concern itself with historical accuracy?

Annnnnyhow, all this got me to thinking about sainthood and public recognition and about how truly grateful I am that a few kind souls out there have listed my diary as one of their favorites en Diarylandia. Not that I'm any kind of saint, mind you, but I do like being publicly recognized for mis esfuerzos. I am thinking St. Christopher must have felt that way, too, when they first put him on the Church calendar.

I can't help thinking about how St. Christopher must be feeling, now that he's been removed. He must be pretty depressed right now, I bet, maybe even a little bit suicidal. This must be just what it feels like when somebody un-favorites you! What a painful, horrible reminder that love and gratitude doesn't last forever.

No pressure, beloved readers, but let's hope I never have to experience the pain of St. Christopher personalmente.

pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
wherein I become a Yahoo! Search Result - 2004-06-23
like 9-11 all over again - 2004-06-20
enough said - 2003-02-05
tirar por la calle de en medio - 2003-01-28

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