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cinderella historia | 2002-01-16 - 8:42 p.m. Man, those chingado credit card offers they send you in the mail oughta be outlawed. Credit card companies are like the seediest pushers in Needle Park. Just when you think you got your debt problems under control and you're walking toward the light of financial recubrimiento, one of them comes along with a special offer for an exclusive three-month 3.9% interest rate. Or an offer to upgrade an existing card from Platinum to Titanium or Uranium. Whatever it takes to get you hooked again on their "services." Next thing you know, you're mainlining balance transfers and cash advances again like there's no ma�ana, buying that mirrored garden sphere from Walmart (when you don't even have a garden), doing your best to ignore the little voice in your head that's telling you the only way your sad little historia is gonna end is in Capitulo Siete. A certain bank which I will not name because they might send somebody to kick down my front door and break my thumbs sent me one of these letters today. OK, OK, I'll give you a clue. Their name rhymes with "shitty bank." I usually throw their crap away, but I was feeling strong today, so I opened it. Imagine my wonderment when they informed me, "Every now and then it's okay to be your own fairy godmother." Well, that's a new one. "Castigada, it's OKAY to be your own fairy godmother," I tell myself. It sounds kind of funny coming out of my mouth. For some reason I'm getting a mental picture of that chick on the Aladdin Bail Bonds commercial going "It's OKAY" in that irritating manera of hers, doing that thing she does with her hands when she's trying to calm down the white girl. I keep reading, like you would keep watching a train wreck or an episode of Friends. "Congratulations, you have been selected for an exciting opportunity to upgrade your existing Shiti Card Account. The Shiti Preferred Card rewards you with one point for every dollar you spend on new eligible purchases. Rewards like airline travel. Or phone cards. Or merchandise at fine stores. You choose. In fact, whenever you reach out for the things that matter to you -- even if you didn't fully plan for them -- you'll find the rewards of this distinctive new card reaching back." "Even if you didn't fully plan for them? ... reaching back?" Ay, madre. There's so much going on there in that last sentence, I don't even want to touch it. You use your imagination and get back to me on what you think they mean when they talk about credit cards "reaching back" at you. I'm going to Target to return that chingado garden sphere.
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pride and prejudice - 2004-09-07
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Diary Rings |
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member of the scorpio diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland member of the snobs diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland we live sweat but dream light years | d*land wage slaves: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland member of the love-is-pain diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - I'll Dance on His Mutilated Corpse - Diaryland Living Abroad - the expat diaryring: next - prev - random - list - home - Diaryland |
